Im so scared!!! what should i do?

so anyway one day im taking a s hower and i come out and i think i see an old man sitting on my toilet taking a crap! but when i go there hes gone! when i went to jack in the box the other day jack was frowning instead of smiling and he was giving me the birdie with his finger. and yesterday i was talking to my friend when his head exploded! i have a .357 magnum revolver just in case anything tries to kill me, but im still getting freaked out!